i wonder how long i can go on
pretending i don't want you
like a need that breathes in a human way
but waits and thaws in the heat
surging forward quick as blood flow
quick as a whirlpool that leads to a place
only i can go to

i never thought i wanted to be anywhere alone

you have hypnotised me
i didn't not ask for it
with feelings bare like fresh roadkill
open and inviting the vultures to come
just one vulture here picking at me
at a frequency audible only when i choose to hear

i choose it
my nose runs like a cold that doesn't end
i am winter incarnate
sagging like trees iced over
turning branches into weapons
but can't you see the fragility

my hands are small and cold
i want to hold you and inhale
smells like freedom smells like
cloud nine sex during sunset

devoid
that is it exactly
gimme my medication
gimme my god for fifteen minutes
i pray indian style with eyes closed head back
pupils change heart rate
pounds

altering chemistry
feeling everything at once
to lessen the blow